Dear Mr Cameron, I’ve received your letter
saying the economy’s getting better
and how our mortgages are staying low.
I rent this house, in case you didn’t know
and haven’t had a payrise in five years,
while the interest rate on my ISA
mean my savings wont buy a new kettle.
It’s nice to know that despite all my fears
I’ll have more leeway how I spend my pension.
I’m planning to buy cheaper beans from Aldi
and download blackleg versions of Vivaldi.
I’m very pleased you’ve asked what I would like,
providing boxes I might want to tick in
but notice there’s no space there at the bottom
to write my extra comments. What’s the fricking
point of asking me for my opinion
when the options given are so limited
and irrelevant to those in my position?
The boxes I would like to have to choose from
would be: What do you think Mr Cameron
should do next a) drop dead b) go to hell
c) resign d) fuck off e) go smell
the coffee. In short. Don’t send me your spin
you Tory knob. Your letter’s in the bin.